Renown Behavioral Health
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Managing Anxiety Around School Violence
December 04, 2024
Reviewed by Dr. Takesha Cooper, MD, MS, FAPA, Chair, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, Professor of Psychiatry at University of Nevada Reno School of Medicine, Chief of Behavioral Health at Renown Health
Sometimes it feels like every time you turn on the news, there is a new report about violence in our schools. Instead of being able to focus on the typical youth growing pains of learning test-taking skills, dealing with physical body changes, navigating friendships and dating and figuring out grades and routines, our children instead must prepare to deal with active shooter incidents, bullying, gang presence and hate crimes. These are heavy weights for children to bear and simply preparing for the possibility of such events can affect their mental health.
As adults, it’s important to recognize when our children are struggling with anxiety, and to equip them with healthy tools and resources to help manage it.
How to recognize signs of anxiety in children
Anxiety in children can present itself in several different ways, depending on the child. Oftentimes, younger children will suffer from actual physical symptoms. They may wake up with a stomachache or headache, or they may often feel tired or irritable. In pre-teens and teens, anxiety can take the form of behavioral changes. They may withdraw from social connections and activities or have trouble sleeping or eating.
As a parent, it may be difficult to know what to do when you see your child struggling with anxiety over school violence. How can you help your child when you are trying to figure out the same answers for yourself? You should know, however, that one of the best things you can do for your child is to simply be there for them. Anxiety tries to convince us that we are alone in our feelings, creating a sense of isolation, guilt and shame. A hug, reassurance and open conversation can provide the comfort your child needs during times of anxiety.
How to talk to children about school violence
Some important things to remember when talking to your children about school violence are:
1. Present the facts: Many times, children receive information about school violence from unreputable sources. Social media, peers and even family members are not always the most accurate sources of data and facts. Take the time to confirm the main details to stop wild theories and accusations in their tracks.
2. Provide Reassurance: It’s okay to let your children know when you are sad or scared about school violence, but you should do so in an age-appropriate manner and follow up with honest parental reassurance. Keep your explanations of the violent incident short and tailored to the age of the child. Acknowledge their feelings and the current situation but be sure to remind them that there are rules, laws and people in place to protect them, should that protection ever be needed. You can empathize with their anxious thoughts and feelings but also remind them that you are there to take care of them and that it is not their responsibility as a child to worry about school violence.
3. Promote Open Communication: Don’t be afraid to have complicated conversations with your children. They are usually able to process more than adults give them credit for. Find opportunities to have one on one time with your child and guide the discussion towards their anxious thoughts and feelings. Actively listen and validate their feelings without escalating fear and remind them that you are a safe and trusted resource who will not dismiss or judge their feelings but promises to be there as a support system.
4. Prepare with the Necessary Tools: Help teach your children coping mechanisms such as deep breathing, yoga, mindfulness or journaling. They can also learn to process their thoughts through physical outlets such as exercise, sports or hobbies to help foster a sense of control and normalcy.
5. Practice Safety Routines: While it can be sad to acknowledge that bad things happen in the world, it can be empowering for children to learn that there are sometimes things they can do to help in a challenging situation. You can discuss safety measures at school and remind them of teachers, staff and first responders who are available to help. Additionally, some children find that role-playing emergency protocols can help them feel prepared and powerful.
6. Protect Their Media Intake: In today’s world, news and information are available 24/7, coming to us from numerous media platforms. For adults, this constant stream of content can feel overwhelming, and for children, it can be even more distressing—especially during times of crisis. Children may struggle to process the information they have been exposed to, and they may lack the ability to distinguish between factual reporting and sensationalism. This constant influx of bad news can take a toll on their mental health, and they may not even recognize that they’re feeling stressed. Limiting their media exposure is an important step in caring for their emotional well-being.
Take Care of Yourself
Each time you fly on an airplane, the flight attendants tell you to “put your oxygen mask on first before helping others.” This is important because, in order to think clearly and be helpful to others in need, you have to be able to breathe and function on your own. This adage also rings true when it comes to helping your children manage their anxiety. You must take care of yourself and manage your own fears and stress so that you can effectively provide guidance and support to your children. Remembering to eat properly, exercise, get enough sleep and find strategies to manage your own mental health are crucial to you being the best you can be, so that you can provide comfort to your child and advocate for their health and wellbeing.
When to Seek Professional Help
Remember that it’s okay to ask for help. If you find that you or your child are struggling with depression, anxious thoughts, persistent fears, loss of appetite, irritability, lack of desire to engage in life activities or with loved ones or other signs of distress, please reach out for professional help. Counseling, support groups and therapy with a licensed mental health professional are all effective ways to cope with these emotions and serve as a helpful reminder that no one has to face them alone.
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